"But you look fine"

A lot of people have said this to me. Even when I have been at my worst. As far as I have been concerned its written all over my face, I look ill, sad, depressed, un-motivated, horrible etc. 

But the reality is, most of the time, other people don't 'see' what you see in the mirror or inside your own head. Sometimes I have had to physically spell it out to people; 'I am really down", "I have depression". "I suffer from anxiety", "I am not happy", and even then I have had people telling me that "You look fine", and "You'd never know" and "You're always so happy". 

Yes, I am generally a pretty smiley person and I am quite good at smiling even if I don't think there is anything to smile about. Anyone who is really close to me can tell the difference between my genuine smile, and my I'm just smiling because I have to. I still have these days, I still have days where I am not feeling great, but they pass. I find trying to smile and make yourself look happy sometimes actually makes you feel that way too or at least helps a little. 

Everyone deals with their problems in their own way. I don't really know what my way was when I was very ill. It was many years ago now and I thought it was so obvious to other people that something was wrong -- but it wasn't. 

Don't assume people know what's going on with you. Make sure if you want people to know that they actually know how your feeling and what's going on. Talk to them, and I recommend face to face and not by text or email. You need to be personal. 

People aren't mind readers and a lot of the time we are so involved with our own lives (intently selfish or not) we don't always see the "obvious" around us, the friend in need,  I think we can all admit that we have been guilty of that at some time or another. 

-X-