I faced my fears

I recently came back from a work trip to New Zealand. I was asked to go to the other side of the world, by myself, to work on a project I am not familiar with and with people I have never met before...pretty scary. 

I was persuaded by family and friends that this was an opportunity not to miss and deep down I also agreed. But my anxiety and fear of the unknown almost overturned my decision to go. But I am happy to say, with hindsight, I did it and I'm glad!

I hate flying, it doesn't matter how many facts and figures you tell me, whether it was 100% safe (obviously nothing is), the fact I have no control over the plane scares me and I think it always will. Simply put, that's it. Your in a metal tin, thousands and thousands of feet above ground/sea and trapped until you reach your destination and if anything went wrong, what can you do? Nothing. I know that sounds pretty dramatic to some as why would you be  thinking of the worst case scenario but this is a perfect example of my worries. You tell me plane ride, I think plane crash. 

Now this was my first business trip alone, my first flight alone and my first time to New Zealand, ALONE. Not to mention all the other unknowns of the project and people I was working with. This didn't settle well with me along with my fear of flying! 

Now you are probably wondering how I dealt with it. A few weeks before, I shared some concerns with an experienced work colleague who eased my mind and gave me some reassurance. This was something I was really glad I did and it really helped relieve some of the tension. 

For the days leading up to my trip I tried to think of other things or push my worries aside. They were definitely still there and very real but it seemed a little easier to deal with if I didn't really address them. When it came to the day of the trip, I tried to make the build up as relaxed as possible and ensure I was packed early and had time to eat and relax. To be honest the day didn't go quite as planned, I had to make an emergency errand as there was something I needed urgently for the trip and this messed up my "calm state" and I got myself pretty worked up. There were tears and I felt a panic surging through me. But once I had accepted there was nothing I could do about it and I got to the airport with time to spare, i started to relax again. It also helped that as my company had paid for Business Class I got to sit in a nice relaxing lounge with free champagne :)

The trip itself went well. I had a few moments where I felt quite sad and alone, because I literally was but, I tried not to focus too much on that and make the most of time for myself and made use of the bath in my room and the hotel pool and spa facilities. When I had some time off (not much) I wandered around Auckland city and I also went on an organised trip to Hobbiton which really made me feel energised. 

Now I am back, I can look back and think how proud I should be of myself. I would never imagine myself doing anything like this. Its amazing how your mind copes when you are in a situation where you have to just get on. 

Don't underestimate yourself, your mind is very powerful. As much as it can make you feel weak, it can also make you feel strong and help you achieve things you never thought were possible. 

Stay Strong 

-X-